Welcome to all the Super Bowl haters! You’re safe here.
On the hunt for a way to stream the Super Bowl online? Mosey on over to this piece for quality advice about watching the “big game.”
OK, now that it’s just us, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. You feel like you’re better than the unwashed masses, and why wouldn’t you? Sports are low-key boring, and there’s a litany of reasons not to love the National Football League, from the NFL’s record on disability payments to team mascots that disrespect Native Americans.
Who even cares if the Chiefs beat the Packers on Sunday? (The Packers aren’t in the Super Bowl. It’s actually the Eagles, but I’m all for feigning obliviousness.) If there’s anything this testosterone-fueled holiday gets right, it’s the snacks. So go ahead and grab a big bag of chips, a 57-layer cheese dip, and a cold drink. Maybe even some of those little smokies! We’ve rounded up seven entertainment alternatives to the Super Bowl for your oh-so-refined palate.
Rupaul’s Drag Race
The Button
Valentine’s Day is so, so cringe. Like seriously. Lean into the cringiness of it all with one of my favorite series on YouTube, a speed dating show from The Cut. Singles sit down at a nondescript table and make small talk until a red button lights up between them. If either person chooses to push the button, their partner is immediately switched out for someone else. Essentially, it’s MTV’s Next for the YouTube generation. No one’s really finding true love on The Button, but the awkwardness is strangely satisfying to watch.
Free Solo
M3GAN

If you’ve seen the TikTok memes and Saturday Night Live sketch but have not yet watched the M3GAN movie, do it. An experimental robot is tasked with protecting a vulnerable girl after the death of her parents. What could possibly go wrong! The movie is campy, offbeat, and now available to rent. Even as someone who’s notorious for falling asleep on the couch, I can say rolling credits on M3GAN was the easiest thing I’ve done all year.